Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: THE SNOWMAN

THE SNOWMAN is one of the most poorly edited and unfinished films I have ever seen. How can I say it is unfinished? This article my friends: http://www.joblo.com/movie-news/tomas-alfredson-says-he-was-unable-to-shoot-10-15-of-the-snowman-146 . 10-15%?!?!? To me it was more like 20-25%. I could tell that large chunks of this movie was missing, and the film is still two hours long?!?!? How a studio can allow a film to go into rushed production and then not even really have a finished project before releasing it into theatres is mind boggling. This is one of the rare times where I’ll say the movie might have benefit if an extra hour had been tacked onto the run time. Everything about this movie sucks except for the hint of genius performances barely peeking their ways out of the frames. The Snowman is definitely one of the worst films of the year. And has the worst use of Val Kilmer I have ever seen.

Michael Fassbender must’ve read a tremendous script if he wanted to shoot this movie. Because he seems like he wants to be there. So does Rebecca Ferguson, so does J.K. Simmons. They all glimmer a little in their parts. Somewhere in this giant mess of a film, shoot schedule, and screenplay must’ve been a fantastic noir type serial killer thriller. When the credits rolled, I was confused as to what the film even really wanted to truly be? Tonally it is all over the fucking place, with not a shred of dread like there was supposed to be. The film is so poorly edited that one scene completely reveals the killer although I don’t think it was meant to be the case when shooting it. (the killer isn’t that hard to guess in the first place, the film sticks to one red herring and doesn’t let go until the last possible minute, and other than that there weren’t too many suspects).

And Val Kilmer in this. Sheesh, what the fuck happened to Val Kilmer. The guy in his personal life kept denying that he had cancer, but with this film, you can tell he completely had it. THEY DUB OVER HIS ENTIRE VOICE WITH THE FEW SCENES THAT HE HAS. His voice does not match his lips and you know that isn’t Val Kilmer talking. Why didn’t they just reshoot with another actor? Probably the rushed production mentioned above.

If you don’t know the plot or even care, it’s based on a series of novels with a character named Detective Henry Hole. In this novel, he is after a killer that kills women, lops their heads off and puts them on snowmen. The women that are being targeted are women that come from damaged families, are unhappy and unfaithful. You can tell that the production was rushed from the first scene, which uses CGI so terribly you know they weren’t actually filming where they were supposed to be and the editing is so choppy is never lets up.

I consider The Snowman an incomplete picture. In fact, I would like for director Tomas Alfredson to maybe try to get money from the studio, do reshoots, finish the picture and release a director’s cut and maybe I’ll try it again to see if I feel any differently. But this is one of the messiest films I have ever seen. And no, I haven’t read the book, but I want to, I feel that reading the words will get the bad taste out of my eyes and ears.

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