Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: 47 METERS DOWN

47 METERS DOWN was an okay one time watch….until it broke THE NUMBER 1 CARDINAL SIN OF MOVIE MAKING!!!! And it is a cardinal sin of the highest order. Movies stopped doing this in the 90s it was so bad, and the only other movie that has done it (that I can remember) in the 2000s was Repo Men starring Jude Law and Forest Whitaker. Aron Seeley, if you are reading this you know exactly what I am talking about. And it bugs me that I can’t tell you this sin, as it is a major spoiler for the film and really the only twist that the movie had to offer. I will give it credit for not just ending on that said twist and for going on a little bit longer to wrap some things up, but the twist was still a cardinal sin. And because of it I cannot recommend this film, at all.

And that’s a shame, because there are a lot of things to like about the movie. Claire Holt and Mandy Moore are actually really good in this (even though when Mandy Moore is freaking out and breathing hard it sounds like sex noises). The shark effects are the best I have ever seen. The movie does bring about real tension even though that tension is cliched and has been dumb before. And at 85 minutes, the movie doesn’t overstay its welcome.

That being said, along with the cardinal sin that it makes in the movie, there is a lot to not like about the film. Even though the acting is good, the characters are extremely fucking dumb. They make so many dumb God damn choices in this movie I didn’t want them to make it out of their situation alive. The beginning was slow and the movie set up a relationship divide between the two sisters that really didn’t pay off in the end (the cardinal sin is partly to blame). There is a little fling with the two guys that get the girls on the boat to go shark sight seeing that really didn’t pay off either. Didn’t establish any relationships with them and after the girls go into the water they aren’t really seen all the much again. And when they are it’s again part of the cardinal sin.

The cardinal sin also ruins some of the great tension that the film brought along with it. Not all of it mind you, but about 10 minutes of it. If you’ve seen Repo Men or have followed the context clues I have given you, you can probably figure out what the cardinal sin is. If you have no clue, and see the movie, you will know when it happens, and then shake your head in shame.

If they can take those shark effects they used in this film and put them in a better film, it could be one of the best shark films ever made. In my mind, there are only two shark films worth seeing, JAWS and DEEP BLUE SEA. Never has a shark film even come close to beating those two classics in the ocean thriller genre. The Shallows, which I did not care for, is better than this film. And you know what all three of those sharks movies have in comparison to this one? They didn’t break the cardinal rule of film making/storytelling. There were many ways that this film could have went without having to go that route, and I can’t believe they didn’t take them. I can’t recommend this film because of it. And unfortunately I will never forget this film because of it either.

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