Ok. I admit The Cubicle Escapee has been a hodge podge of book reviews and spotlights mostly because I am always trying to accomplish some form of a reading bucket list. Don’t get me wrong this will continue on my blog but I am finally reading to get back to writing about what I love… adventure.
The past couple of months have been insane, to the point that I have questioned if I am insane for quitting my job, traveling and taking a LSAT. While I quit my job for other reasons that will remain personal… it has almost formulated into this. I realized that my life was never really about my job… it was my desire to see the world and help others. That being said since quitting my job I have learned many things.
I absolutely hated my job and my manager. There I said it. I have been wanting to say this for quite some time. He was an asshole that sadly no one really likes, but in reality he doesn’t need people to like him he is the boss. Everyone calls him the aardvark. Which sadly is a horrible name as aardvarks are cute creatures. Anyway I digress. Two years ago I was legally blind it was no secret as I talked about it extensively on this blog. I needed cataract surgery. My doctor recommended me going on medical until I could have the surgery since my job required me to look at a computer every single day. I didn’t. That was my first mistake, I missed important stuff because half the time I couldn’t see it. I admit it. I made mistakes. A lot of them. Since I worked in corporate America… they flat out did not give a shit. That is the reality. My second mistake was when I was battling through one of the worst migraines cause you know you get those when you can’t see… I didn’t take a phone call and I said I do not have time to take the call right now. Well Mr. Aardvark heard and for a solid year I had attack after attack. I was written up for talking to much, I was written up for being withdrawn and not “engaged” which by the way the week before I was written up for “talking to much”… Truth is he wanted me gone.
Luckily I managed to hold on to my job for a little bit & that is when I realized it was time to get serious about debt and what I wanted to do with my life, because the reality is he was always going to be an asshole. Tigers do not change his stripes. He will always just be a manager at a major insurance company that will always be called a dick or an asshole when he is not around. I know he doesn’t care and why should he? Opinions of others do not matter to assholes.
Last week while I was in Mexico I realized two things. I was over Mr. Asshole and what he did, because claims adjusting was never my life goal, I just feel into it and B: traveling and helping others is what I want to do, so I need to find a way to make that happen. I also realized in my photos I look freaking happy, you do not realize how much a job sucks the soul from you until you get away from that job.
I truly wish everyone well at my old job, but quite frankly it wasn’t for me I realized it when I look at this selfie. I must admit it isn’t for some of them either and I hope they find something they love.
Or this selfie….
Both were taken last week in Mexico, the first one was intentional the second was by mistake. The first was because I was laughing I had zero air conditioning… was sweating my ass off in the Yucatan and I loved every single moment of it. The second was when I “thought” I was doing a timed photo from my phone of ruins… and I got me instead. That smile is genuine. I had hiked to the top and it was glorious.
So I realized that seeing and helping truly makes a difference. It makes me feel human. I feel the past decade I got away from being human, I became jaded…. cold… resentful and judgmental. 4 traits I absolutely hate.
That being said last week I realized a few things… for the first time in years I feel like Jen again and it is amazing.
PS: My blog is going to be TRAVEL related again…. Yippee! Stay tuned I have quite a bit to catch everyone up on, but don’t fret my blog will still have tons of books to share! All pictures taken with an iPhone.