Tag Archives: The Cubicle Escapee

Zach’s Zany Movie Reviews: KIDNAP

We will get to the travesty of The Dark Tower in a moment, but my real first question is what happened to Halle Berry’s career? She won an Oscar for Monster’s Ball, and had some minor success as Storm in the X-Men films, but she went off and did Catwoman, Gothika, The Call, Perfect Stranger, Movie 43, and you see what I’m getting at now don’t ya? I actually think she is quite a talented actress. And she’s really the only really really bright spot in KIDNAP, a movie that was filmed 3 years ago and should’ve been a Netflix original. It feels like a Netflix film, with low production value, a quick runtime, and just enough cheese to not warrant a theatrical release, but here it is. It’s a decent Netflix watch, but a very mediocre way to spend your box office bucks. At least I enjoyed it more than The Dark Tower.

Also, why in the fucking fuck is this film Rated R? I just used two F words to prove a point. I have now said fuck twice more now than the movie used, and the film has less violence than 10 seconds in one episode of The Walking Dead. Maybe they thought they would have a bunch of teenagers having heart attacks in the theater if they rated it PG-13? No clue, but this isn’t rated R at all, in fact, there were 10 to 16 year olds in the theater asking the same questions once the movie let out.

Plot? Kidnappers kidnap Halle Berry’s child and she witnesses it and as a determined mother she actually goes after the kidnappers before she loses sight of them. That’s it. There are no plot twists (they try and sneak a stupid meaningless one at the very end) an the criminals are dumb, cut and dry, country over the top redneck, and unmemorable. At least the movie doesn’t really waste anytime getting everything moving, but a lot of the movie is Halle Berry sitting in a car looking worried and stressed out, which she does very well.

The criminals make dumb decisions, Halle Berry makes dumb decisions, the filmmakers make dumb decisions, the action is cheap and hackneyed. Look, you’ve seen this film a million times, and done a million different better ways. It isn’t unwatchable, in fact it kept my attention, but this film isn’t anything special and you’ll forget it exists in 3 days. But why is Halle Berry choosing these scripts? She is so much better than this material, we’ve seen it, and we see it here. She looks like she is still in her 30s (she’s 50) and can act her way out of a paper bag, is it that Hollywood doesn’t want to give her anything else? Is she hard to work with? *shrugs*

The film didn’t kidnap my time. I don’t regret watching it, I just wish I had on Netflix and not spent what I pay for Netflix in a month in a 82 minute period. It doesn’t waste anytime at least and there aren’t any slow parts. Honestly, I would probably be shitting all over this film if it weren’t for having to sit through an adaptation of one of my favorite books royally shit on. Netflix only, don’t spend your money.

Tompkin’s School: For the Dearly Departed by Tabi Slick

Tompkin’s School: For the Dearly Departed
by Tabi Slick
Genre: YA Paranormal/Dark Fantasy
Release Date: August 2nd 2017

Summary:

 Visions of the past, powers beyond belief, and a school that has been waiting for them for over a hundred years. Kain and Izara’s abilities have advanced far greater than they ever imagined possible and it’s all due to their new friend that has joined them. This year will bring the Torvik twins closer to solving the mystery of who they are, why they have these powers, and even closer to unveiling the school’s most haunting secret.

The lights of the Artesian Hotel flickered as the party drew on into the night. I saw Bart Bessler dancing with Mary, and the bright, dazzling yellow eyes of the French, red-headed woman as she drew in the light around her. I shivered at the sight of the wolf-man killing one of the intruders that night they had chained Bart to the ground.“Destiny of beings is about to come to fruition,” the voice of the being’s human companion rang in my ear.The scene turned to liquid and then I saw Izzy standing in front of me.“You know his face,” a voice that didn’t belong to my sister bellowed from within her.I will return….I will return to my children.

 

My whole body writhed in pain as the voice filled my head.

Buy on Amazon!

 

**Tompkin’s School: For the Dearly Departed in the 2nd book in the Tompkin’s School trilogy but each read as a standalone.**
Previous book in the series (click on image for Goodreads link):
 

 

 

 

 

About the Author
Tabi Slick was born in Kansas and grew up in the country where she was homeschooled for the greater part of her childhood. In middle school, her family moved to Davis Oklahoma where she attended public school for several years. Here she began her writing adventure and soon the world of Tompkin’s Academy came to life. After graduating from high school in 2008, she spent a few years in Puerto Rico and wound up in Texas where she graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Linguistics from the University of Texas at Arlington. She was born with an immense appreciation for literature and continues to dedicate her time to her passion of writing.

Author Links:

     



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Seven Threads: A Book of Short Stories by Jason Atkinson

Book Details:

Book Title: Seven Threads: A Book of Short Stories
Author: Jason Atkinson
Category: Adult Fiction, 151 pages
Genre: Thriller and Suspense
Publisher: Mascot Books
Release date: July 4 , 2017
Tour dates: July 10 to 28, 2017
Content Rating: PG

Book Description:

In this collection of seven short stories from Jason Atkinson, follow a man accused of murder, a runaway girl on a train, a scientist at the heart of a government conspiracy, and more! Full of twists and turns, Seven Threads offers a selection of fast-paced stories full of heart and excitement.

Buy the Book:

 


 

 
 

 

Meet the Author:


Jason Atkinson lives in the Midwest with his wife and son. With a love of writing, this is his 3rd book, but first book in the fiction category. Short stories are easy to digest, and yet, this book still provides all the joys for the long haul reader. Jason write for everyone in mind when creating this piece and hopes you will enjoy it as much as he did when writing it.

Connect with the author: Website ~ Facebook

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REVIEW: B.S., Incorporated by Jennifer Rock & Michael Voss

 

Summary: Business Solutions, Inc. is falling apart at the seams. While employees kill time stalking free snacks and filming porn in the HQ stairwells, the company’s co-CEOs bring in shadowy corporate consultants to shake up their business in ways even they don’t understand.

As the communications manager tasked with translating C-suite doublespeak, Will Evans is constantly torn between his blue-collar warehouse past and his white-collar future. When he is put in charge of rolling out a dubious strategy the consultants brand Optelligence, Will is thrust deep into a muddle of absurdity and responsibility he never expected.

Enter Anna Reed, corporate mercenary with heels as high as her ambition. To her, BSI is just a steppingstone to a better job at a smarter company. Demoted to Will’s team on her first day, she’s ready to steamroll anyone to get her career back on track.

When BSI is pushed to the brink of bankruptcy, Will hatches a covert plan that just might save them all. But he needs Anna’s cunning and courage to pull it off. Can Anna, the consummate job jumper, find a reason to go all-in on BSI? Or is she better off bailing and letting the company go down in flames?

My Review: This review should have been written months ago, guys this book is hilarious.   Anyone that has worked in corporate America will greatly appreciate this novel.   It has every type of “office worker” imaginable.  I laughed so hard in this book because this book felt real.   Even though Anna isn’t really my cup of tea (I mean those corporate ladder climbers are soooo annoying 😉 ) I liked her character a lot, she felt real.

Also the porn filming stuff was hilarious, I am really not sure what that says about me personally, even months later I am laughing at that scene.

Overall the book was well developed thoughtful and you really must read it if you have been in the corporate environment and have worked for a really bad company.    The characters are amazing and the plot makes you think.  This is a fantastic novel.

Disclaimer: I received a copy of the book in exchange for review, as always the opinions are my own.